Family training
Sibling Placement
Many of the 126,000 children waiting to be adopted from the foster care system have brothers and sisters who are also waiting. There are no national statistics that tell us how many of these children do belong to sibling groups, or how many are being planned for either together or separaIn recognition of the special difficulty of placing more than one child at a time in an adoptive home, every state and the District of Columbia includes membership in a sibling group as one category of special needs that may qualify for adoption assistance. In 1998, 20% of the 29,764 special needs adoptions in the United States were reported to be due to the childs status as a member of a sibling group (U.S. House of Representatives, 2000). The sibling relationship is unique among all the relationships we have in our lifetimes, yet its importance has only been recognized and researched within the last two decades. While it was once assumed that the parent-child relationship was the most important determinant of adult behavior, there is a growing body of evidence that indicates that interaction among siblings also plays an important role in defining who we are.
Sibling relationships are longer lasting and more influential than any other, including those with parents, spouse or children. Over the course of a lifetime, siblings can be comforters, caretakers, role models, motivators, faithful allies and best friends, as well as competitors and tormentors. Our earliest lessons in learning how to deal with other people in a variety of social settings come from our experiences with our brothers and sisters.
This sibling bond may be even stronger between children whose parents have been unable to meet their needs (Bank & Kahn, 1982), and many of the children who enter the foster care system are among those with the strongest need to support one another in the face of abuse or neglect on the part of their parents.
Children placed in out-of-home care suffer many losses. First and foremost, they are separated from their parents and possibly other family members. Unless the placement is within the community, they are separated from neighbors, friends, schoolmates, teachers, and the security of a familiar environment. Additional losses may include those of pets, possessions, extended family, babysitter or child care workers, and other trusted adults in the community.
Separating siblings in foster care or through adoption adds to their emotional burden. They have already had to cope with the separation and loss of their parents. When separated from siblings, they experience the grieving process all over again and may lose the one person with whom they still have a lifetime connection. Yet the early ties siblings form remain even when they are separated. Today more adults who were in foster care as children are searching for siblings than are searching for their biological parents.
It is essential that both child welfare professionals and the families who foster and adopt children with siblings understand the importance of these relationships, and take steps to help preserve sibling groups and the bonds children have with their brothers and sisters.
